Sunday, December 30, 2012

Maybe It Is None Of Your Business Mark

You may know I do social media marketing for a living. That means I have Facebook open on my computer constantly.  It is really beginning to creep me out a bit though.

Every time I go back to Facebook to either look at my personal page or to use it to go to one of my clients pages, the box you put your status update in is asking me questions.

How are you feeling, Brenda?

How are you doing, Brenda?

What is happening, Brenda?

What is going on, Brenda?

What is on your mind, Brenda?

The first couple times I saw these questions I looked over my shoulder to see who was there. I didn’t hear voices asking the question but still looked over my shoulder.

I am a pretty straight up person and will answer most questions honestly unless it just isn’t any of your business. If that is the case, because of my honesty, I will probably just tell you it isn’t any of your business or smile and let you try to assume you know the answer.

Here are your answers though, Mr. Zuckerberg:

I am feeling a bit lazy this morning and don’t want to do my household chores.

I am doing just fine, thanks for asking.

Not much happening but that is intentional today.

There is a lot going on but won't talk about it here.

What is really on my mind this morning is wishing there had not been a miscommunication about whether I was out of the country or not this weekend. I wouldn’t be writing this blog if that had not happened. Oh, and for the record, hardly anyone asks what is on my mind because I have probably already expressed it.
Does that pretty much answer the questions sufficiently so you will quit asking me Mark and Facebook? If Twitter starts doing the same I am going to just make up random shit and see what happens.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Reflections and Tears

I tend to get a bit reflective at the end of the year and apparently so do some of my friends, both real friends and even some Facebook friends.

I try to tell people how much they mean to me on a regular basis, because unfortunately, I have had too much experience with people I loved being here one day and not the next. You don’t always get that second chance to say I love you or you made a difference in my life.

The last few days I have been the recipient of those sentiments and let me tell you, each time it has made me cry, okay, maybe just tears in my eyes. I am not a cryer normally but when the tears appear because your heart is full, those are the best.

Take the time before this year ends to tell them they made a difference in your life, they inspired you or that you just simply love them. Hell, do it before this day ends.
Now that I have asked you to get all serious and reflective I will tell you I fully intend to spice up my life a bit real soon so I will be back to my old shenanigans and tell you about it here.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I Survived

So the world is supposed to be ending today huh? That's bad.

I never have found out who let the dogs out, the way to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn't just use Google maps, why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery", why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed, why "abbreviated" is such a long word, why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish washing liquid is made with real lemons, why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Why did Joanie love Chachi? If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria's secret?

You see, the world just has to keep going. I have too many questions......and do you really think I am this witty ????, because I actually stole this from a friend, who stole from a friend , who stole from a friend , who stole from for a friend , who stole from a friend ....

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dear Santa

I haven’t run into Santa so I could sit on his lap and give him my Christmas list. If you see him will you relay this information please?

I have watched The Voice on TV this year and developed a huge crush on Adam and Blake.  If they could be under my tree this year that would be great.

Det. Stabler on Law and Order SVU has a pretty sexy mouth but if he isn’t available to be under my tree someone with a mouth like his could be substituted, someone like Chris O’Donnell maybe.

My biggest male crush is Timothy Olyphant’s character Raylan Givens on Justified and if he was under my imaginary tree Christmas morning I would never get another Christmas present because I would be a very naughty girl - but I am willing to give up all future presents for that.

I know my list is getting to you at the last minute and if you can’t bring me exactly what I want, I understand, Santa.  Maybe you could come up with a composite gift. Here is my suggestion:

Someone with a sexy mouth, drinks brown liquor, likes to have fun, fit body, has a gun(s), has cowboy boots, mischievous, sing and/or play guitar, straight talker, no bullshit, no drama – is that all of the common theme’s with the guys above?

I promise I will be a very good girl!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Swinging From The Chandelier

This should be a story posted in Weird News or something like that but no, it was originally reported by the AP.

So this woman gets a workers’ comp claim approved because of having sex while on a business trip. They must have been swinging from the chandelier because the article even says they pulled the light fixture from the ceiling.

I always had a rule for myself to not mix personal and business relationships and now I am rethinking that choice. Maybe if I had taken men to my hotel room while traveling on business I could have had a nice little vacation for my efforts via workers’ comp.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Cleansing and Purging

I have been in a cleansing/purging mood lately. No, I am not doing a cleansing diet for my body nor am I developing an eating disorder. I suppose I am preparing for the new year with a cleaner slate in my life to begin it with.
(Google goofed when I was looking for the pic for this post. My search for trash turned up many, many pics of full on frontal nude men. Guess Google thought I needed to see nekkid men this morning)

I began this purge by unsubscribing to many, many email subscriptions I had. I would just hit delete on about 99% of the ones I unsubscribed to without even opening so why have them cluttering up my inbox. Time saved!

I cleaned my attic and ridded myself of a trash cart full of tacky, useless Christmas decorations. There is still about 10 pieces of various sized luggage up there but I am holding on to that in case I want to go on a grand adventure and would need just the right size to fit that need.

My clothes closet, or one of them at least, is my largest spare bedroom I turned into a closet. 2 SUV loads of clothes, shoes and bags got taken to consignment shops or donated to the store that benefits domestic violence victims. Now I am wondering how all that fit in my closet because it still seems full. Fewer decisions to make when I am getting dressed now.

Drawers, other closets and garage have met the same purging. It is a work in progress so there is much more to sell, trash or give away.

I am a neat person by nature, even the closets, drawers, etc. were neat but I don’t need that crap so out it goes.

I even purged my social media friends and followers to a degree. If I didn’t delete them I at least hid their daily negative bullshit from my feeds.

I plan to start 2013 with a cleaner and less cluttered life. These aren’t new year resolutions, it is just saying goodbye to this year and, by the looks and weight of the trash cart each week, goodbye to many years passed also.

Do you do anything like this at the end of the year?

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Time To Make A Resolution

Recently one of my favorite local bloggers, who is typically very funny, did a serious post about addiction and it’s impact on her family. She was meeting this head on with the family member and no longer being a victim of their addiction herself. Hat is off to her.

That convoluted start brings me to the people I know who are addicted to the past. Sadly, I know too many people who hold on to negative things from their life as if it is their next line of coke or the next needle in their vein. Why? Because they thrive on it. They have chosen to be the victim of their life circumstances instead of dealing with the issue and moving on. The issue can be anything from a perceived slight in childhood, a truly bad childhood, a bad marriage or even the death of a loved one. It is too easy and comfortable to wallow in self pity of the past than risk anything in the future. Perhaps dealing with the issue initially will be painful, so what. It can’t be more painful than living an unfulfilled life because of the insane hold you have on it - just like a drug addict. 

From my personal experience, unresolved grief can be one of the most debilitating things to hang on to. Anger may be a close second. I learned to address it in a healthy manner and not let it rule me. I have people in my life who hang onto the sadness of the loss of a loved one so tightly, the beauty of the good memories fades. The beauty that could be their own life is over shadowed. It is only an overwhelming negative to them. But just like a drug addict, I can’t help them. They have to help themselves. Many won't and that is their choice. That saddens me - for them.

We have a new year coming up soon so even if you have never done the resolution thing maybe this is the year you should. Be resolute in identifying and addressing your feelings and begin living your life again. Be most honest with yourself.

Quit hiding from you.
Or another way to put it - put your big girl (or boy) panties on and get over it.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Read this for 1 minute and you can cure cancer

Since my business is social media I am on Facebook all day. I see posts from friends on their pages asking you to share something on your page for just one minute or one hour or whatever the prescribed time is and you can help give a child a much needed heart transplant or you can cure cancer or you can prevent killing baby kittens or some such heart wrenching plea.

Do you really think by posting it for one hour you are accomplishing anything by even posting it - let alone for 1 hour?

The second question I have about that is do you go back to your post and delete it after one hour.

The other one I like is if you post something some big company will donate a bunch of money for a warm fuzzy cause. Really?

I have to ask…..are you really so gullible you think a post on Facebook is going to accomplish that?
I understand all the warm fuzzy feelings it probably gives you but bourbon does the same thing for me.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Wait Your Turn Fat Boy


I had to go downtown last week and everything was decked out for Christmas. TV is full of Christmas ads. Supposedly, the Hallmark channel is nothing but Christmas movies, Someone told me one of our local radio stations has begun to play non-stop Christmas music.

Then there is all the hoopla going on about the big box stores being open on Thanksgiving. What the hell? I get it that some people don’t do the family thing on Thanksgiving but just stay your butt home. Do you really have to eat out or shop? What about the people serving you wanting to be with their families. Don’t you feel just a bit guilty for making them miss their gathering?

Maybe we should just have one holiday per year on July 4 and let it encompass all the other holidays we used to celebrate in this country. The whole country just shuts down for 1 week and we have one big party. Dyed eggs in a basket carried by Santa Claus, fireworks, a ball drop (or possum if you are from NC), flag waving, we can wear costumes, etc. etc.
What do you think about my grand idea?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Get Over It Already

I saw a news story on Good Morning America this week about 2 women who were pissed when they went into a clothing store and couldn't find plus sizes to fit them. Excuse me, why is this news? The store is European based and they were asked by the reporter if they would adapt their size choices to fit the much larger American women. Uhhhh, nope, not doing it.

I don't go into stores like Forever 21 and bitch because I can't fit into a size 0. I did get my feelings hurt just a bit when I was shopping in Paris and had to try on large and extra-large clothing. My size 4 to 6 is a large to them. 8-10 is extra large. Maybe there is something to their sexy women walking every where in high heels, cigarette in hand and having an attitude - no matter their age. They do seem to be pretty fit. Did I call their news outlets and bitch because they were discriminating against me by saying I was a large sized woman? Didn't enter my mind. I just figured out I might need to be walking more and adopting the attitude of sexiness the French women have.

Everyone seems to be offended by something in our country lately. If you are plus size, don't go to stores that have normal sizes. If you don't like the opinion of the owner of a fast food chain, don't eat there.

I am off for the afternoon to do some shopping. Maybe I will go to the local bird feed store and raise some hell that a bird scared me when I was a child and they should shut down because they are encouraging the bird population by selling seeds and causing me anxiet. Will someone call the local TV stations?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Scandalous Affairs and Stupid People

I am not judging someone having an affair (some people I know can rest easy). That is not my job.

My job is judging stupid people…..and there seems to be many of them so it is a full time job.

If you are going to have an affair, how stupid can you be to leave a trail of emails and texts? Gen. Petraeus is supposed to be one of the sharper knives in the drawer so you would think he would know better.

A good friend of mine is a private investigator and tells me stories (no names are given to me so don’t worry if you are one of them) of the same thing happening. Texts, sexts, and emails seem to be the norm. Again, how stupid can you be?

It doesn’t take the CIA or FBI or a person who is too bright to figure out you don’t leave a trail. If you are going to text you come up with code words instead of explicit messages. The person you are having an affair with has a fake name in your phone and it should be the same sex as you. Sexting or sending pics… are asking to get caught. For those of you who may be contemplating an affair, you are welcome for these tips.

If you are going to have an affair maybe you should start thinking with the brain in your head. Or keep being stupid and I will keep judging.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Clueless or Old?

I love going to the hair salon because I get to read what I call trash magazines.

Is it a factor of my age or am I just clueless and out of touch? Both maybe. I didn’t recognize many of the people People was reporting on.

Who the hell is:

Diem Brown
Soleil Moon Frye
Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif (they are divorcing)
Emily Maynard and Jef Holm (she is on a rebound from ex-fiance)

Not only do I not know who they are I can’t pronounce their names. Are Moon Frye’s like French fries?

Who are these people and why are they famous enough for the trash mags to cover them?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

How about some more political talk?

Politics – Yep!

As if you didn’t have enough of it with only 4 days to go until the election I decided to throw my 2 cents in this morning.

Do you know of anyone, anyone at all, who listens to the pre-recorded political messages left in your voice mail? If you answer the phone when it is one of those obscure phone numbers on your caller ID and there is a live person on the other end, do you listen to them and answer their questions? One of my favorite bloggers tells the live person human being caller she is Libertarian and that stops them in their tracks. I know someone else who responds they are voting for the opposition and that shuts them up also. I just don’t answer the phone or listen to the message. I delete the message the minute, no the second, it begins.

So, if like me, we have determined you don’t answer the phone, you delete the voice mail message without listening or you lie. Since we all know that - why don’t the politicians know it? Oh wait, I get it now.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Don't Tell Me What To Do

What the hay is going on lately with all the suggestions of who I should like, what I should read, what music I should listen to, etc.?

Facebook suggests friends.

Local news tells me 10 things I need to know.

Spotify tells me music I should listen to.

Twitter tells me who I should follow.

LinkedIn tells me who I should connect with.
Amazon tells me what books I should read.

Dear Suggestors,
If I wanted those people as friends I would have already friended them. Local news station you don’t even cover our local area anymore and I don't care what Justin Bieber is doing. I admit to trying out some of the suggested music of Spotify so you can keep suggesting. Twitter you suggest people/businesses who haven’t tweeted in months so why would I want to follow them. LinkedIn you want me to connect with someone who hasn’t changed their profile since they set it up 3 years ago. Amazon thinks I like porn with military costumes because of the 50 Shades trilogy and the Bin Laden book I bought.
Where do you come up with these suggestions? Not from my personal preference I assure you. (Amazon, maybe you can keep suggesting)

I don’t particularly like anyone telling me what to do, well there is one exception to that but I will leave that for another post.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Cheap Entertainment and Stalking

I do believe I am ADD, ADHD or just distracted by shiny objects. I can’t just sit and watch TV, I must be doing 2 or 3 other things at the same time.  If I have looked at everything of interest on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and the news sites I read then I turn to the online mugshots in my local newspaper.

Here is the game I play. I look at them and try to guess what they were arrested for. Some of the DUI’s are easy. Another easy one is resisting arrest. If they have a banged up noggin you can pretty much guess the local popo put a whoop ass on them. The cute, 20 somethings who think it is a glamour shot are harder to figure out. Some of them are down right hilarious to look at.

The other interesting thing is who you may know. After a big local event I usually check the mug shots to see if someone I know got popped for driving after having a few.  Did that today and someone I knew professionally was there.  Of course, I had to click on his picture to see what he was arrested for, curious minds want to know. Stalking. Oh damn!

I surely hope my mug shot isn’t there anytime soon because I too stalk but I just do it via Facebook, Google+ or Twitter. You put it out there – I may look.


Friday, October 12, 2012

Even Idiots Deserve To Have Freedom

I participated in a human wall of humanity today, most all with American flags, to honor a local soldier killed in Afghanistan.

 It was anticipated Westboro Baptist Church would be there with their bullshit rhetoric about how he deserved to die. I understand from some folks they did in fact show up. That is not why I went. I went because it was an opportunity to show the family the community support for their loved one and the ultimate sacrifice he made.

The Westboro Baptist Church folks didn’t concern me in the least because of the numbers of people there, the Patriot Guards who I was standing beside and our Wilmington Police Department who were amazing.

The people who I think were worse than the WBC people were our own residents who were allowed to drive on Market Street by the National Cemetery before it was closed to traffic. One jerk in his black Escalade had his window down and his very loud, booming music disturbing the peacefulness and reverence we were all experiencing. Bagpipes were playing in the distance at the cemetery and this asshole shows that kind of disrespect. He wasn’t the only one. Three young women come by with windows down, music playing, smiling and doing a fake beauty queen wave to all of us standing silent with flags. Those four people showed so much more disrespect than WBC.

It was an honor to be standing there today and I am very sorry for those four. They will never be able to experience anything like I did today because of their stupidity. How sad.  I suppose our soldiers even have to die for the idiots in our midst.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Are You A Manscaper?

A Facebook friend of mine posted this article about manscaping.
I recently had a conversation with a guy about this same topic.  He is a believer in manscaping and is one of the small percentage who does waxing in his nether regions (according to him).

I met a guy last year who said he used his beard trimmer on his whole body. Still haven’t figured out why he told me that very soon after meeting him, but oh well. Guess he was trying to explain his hairy body in anticipation of me seeing it. Didn’t happen!

In my travels I have found you can spot a European man on the beach. First, it is the Speedo.  Then you typically see a really hairy back. Hairy, as in it would keep him warm in the winter if he was nekked in the frozen tundra and not on a resort beach.
I like hair on a chest and I like facial hair. Really hairy back - not so much. I don't care how many times you carve sweet nothing messages in it.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Long Island Medium Should Meet Honey Boo Boo

Theresa Caputo's, Long Island Medium is one of TLC’s most popular shows.
I am not certain how this fits with my spiritual beliefs but I think we all would like to have a message from a loved one who is on the “other side”.
A few years back I had a chance encounter with a medium. Actually it was a client who asked to meet for a glass of wine. We had connected through the business transaction so I went.  During our conversation she began to get a peculiar look on her face and then goose bumps on her arm. She proceeded to tell me she had a gift since childhood and had fought it believing it was of the devil and not God. Throughout the years and much prayer she said she accepted it as a gift from God. She then asked me about my brother and I was confused because I had two brothers, both deceased. Bottom line, she said the most innocent spirit she had ever encountered was there. She then said the nickname I used for my little brother. Whoa! Honestly, I don’t recall much else she said because that spooked me big time. I do recall her telling me he was watching out for me.
Today I wish I could remember her name or which state she moved to eventually.
Now if the Long Island Medium could let “spirit” talk to Honey Boo Boo’s family…..
Would you go to a medium?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Electronic Doesn't Mean You Can Be A Dumb Ass

I saw this cartoon on Google+ today and some other things on Facebook that prompted this post.

I had a message yesterday on LinkedIn from someone wanting me to do business with them. When I went to their profile it was full of typos and misspelled words. No thank you.

Facebook posts from friends and a couple businesses today were very hard to read.
Don’t you know that means you are yelling in electronic etiquette? It is also hard to read. Are you just too lazy to use your little finger to hit the caps button when appropriate?

 OtheRs PreFeR To tYpe tHEir PoSts lIKe ThiS
They must think it is creative or cute or some other 2nd grade stuff.

then there are the posts that are in all lower case
What the hell happened to your little finger that hits the caps key? Is it broken?

I get texting and chatting allowing for misspelled words, typos, etc. but that is a private (or at least as private as those things can be unless you are getting a divorce) communication method. I did text for awhile with a guy who insisted on completed sentences, fully spelled words and correct punctuation on text messages and was a pet peeve of his that it be done that way. Yeah, he and I don't text anymore or do anything else.
Oh my! If someone saw the chats and texts from and to me I might be embarrassed for many reasons. My business partner and I chat on Facebook each morning and somehow through the misspelled words, shortened text and no caps many times, we still know what the other is saying.  Those are private posts and not for public viewing thank goodness. 

I get it that smart (dumb) phones correct words many times to something unintended and we all are going to make a typo but for Pete's sake, and anyone besides Pete trying to read what you post, do it correctly please. Give that little finger a work out on your keyboard or you may get the middle finger workout by having people delete your posts or just unfriend you. Just because it is electronic it doesn't give you permission to be a slacker.

And the guy who insisted on texting in full sentences, etc? Bet he never had any sexting from anyone. What do you think?


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Who Eats Chicken Butts?

Random thought today – who eats chicken butts?

Have you noticed whole chickens at the grocery store, even the rotisserie chickens, have the butt still attached?


Is it just to add weight so you pay more maybe? Just like injecting them with water or whatever chemicals they use to make them “plumper”. How much can a chicken butt weigh?  I guess some chickens could have a big butt, but still, why leave it on for the world to see. Would you want your naked butt laid out for all to see in the grocery store?

So for anyone who can shed some light on this for me I have two questions:

Why is the butt left on the chicken?
Have you ever eaten a chicken butt?
I really want to hear from you on this one.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Just The Truth Please

Those who know me well know I don’t have a problem speaking my mind. Some friends know when they ask for my opinion on something they will get a true answer with not much sugar coating.

I used to be an expert bull shitter but just can’t muster up the energy to do that any more. One of my many talents though is spotting another BS’er from a mile away because of my previous experience.

Whatever the truth is just tell me and I will deal with those facts as they are. Recently someone was very honest with me and it took a lot of courage on their part but I admired their frankness and their courage to speak it. I didn’t particularly like what they said but I knew it to be the truth so that made it okay.

My honesty gets me in trouble sometimes but at this stage in my life I don’t want to change it.

I really only want people in my life who are honest and I promise that if I am in your life you will only get it right back - with no bullshit on the side and not much sugar for coating either.

Are you an expert BS’er?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

It Is All For A Reason

I believe people come into your life for a reason. There is the joke thing that says for a reason or a lesson and I think it is both actually.

I have had the blessing of having someone come into my life recently who has taught me so much. Our souls touched and we both recognized it immediately. There is something beyond our human knowledge that connects us to others and we just have to accept it.

Just finished lunch with this amazing person and learned so much about her but more importantly she taught me so much about myself in just a short amount of time. She has an other worldly presence about her that has to be a gift from God.

One of the take aways from her today is that I am limiting myself by not setting my goals higher and more importantly, not asking for what I want. Somewhere in my life I had the idea I need to selfishly seek things for others. She helped me realize I need to begin with myself first and to be specific about my desires, wants and needs.

I have a “homework” assignment and I intend to complete it and will be reporting back to her the progress and results.

I am blessed to have some of the most amazing people in my life and sincerely believe each one is a true gift from God. Then someone else gets introduced to my world and has a huge impact…..another gift which I embrace.

I guess this is a warning to the world that I listened to her today, truly listened and believed what she said. My goals, dreams, aspirations, wants and needs are going to be acknowledged finally and you all just better watch out because it will become a reality. Thank you dear friend for sharing your vision.

Come along with me for this last half journey I am on and celebrate life with me.
Are you also trying to do for others without considering your own well being? We have to take care of ourselves first.
Did I mention I have a huge girl crush on her?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

.....but it is complicated.

Was just out of town speaking at a conference. As most people do at those sort of things you leave the cocktail reception and head for the bar. Yep, I did just that with some people I met there. One guy in particular showed interest in me and kept engaging me in conversation. I saw he had a wedding band on and I commented on that. His reply “yes, I am married but it is complicated”.  Excuse me?

I wasn’t interested enough to find out what was complicated about it. I give him kudo’s for not taking his wedding band off while out of town. I suppose that shows some honesty on his part.

Check out these numbers on infidelity: especially the one about business trips.

I am not judging him or anyone else who may cheat. I am only saying this guy was pretty bold about it. He was looking for a one night stand out of town because his marriage was complicated I guess. Hell, what relationship isn’t complicated whether it is friends or marriage.

He was persistent right up until I was leaving the bar to go to my room ALONE. Guess who found me at breakfast and sat beside me? Yep, good ol’ married Chad.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I Did Not Have Sex With That Girl!

According to this article our former president may have started something.

Blow jobs don’t count.  At least to Bill Clinton and our teens.

I don’t recall even knowing about oral sex when I was 15. I believe it was NBC who did a study a few years back about oral sex being no big deal to middle school kids....middle school, how old is that? Better yet, how young is that?

If questioned by their parents they can say they are virgins I guess.

A male friend of mine confessed some time ago to me that he had his first blow job at 37. Since he is a friend of mine on Facebook he is probably turning red right now and hoping like hell I don’t give his name. Good looking normal guy with two very attractive wives – not at the same time. He is probably wondering what went wrong with him if ugly 6th graders are having oral sex.

Now I know why a recent survey of young people named Bill Clinton as their favorite president.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Raising YOUR Kinds

In a couple discussions with my good friend recently, who also does not have children, we have decided we would do a much better job of raising children than today’s parents seem to be doing.

Many kids today are rude, chubby (fat), and lazy.

They are rude because their parents have not taught them any manners. What the hell happened to please and thank you? I can get beyond the “Yes Ma’am” and “Yes Sir” thing just a bit but not much else.  A simple please and thank you seems to be a stretch today. They don’t know about giving someone older their seat or calling someone Mr. or Mrs. if they are older. I would have been slapped into next Thursday if I had called an older person by their first name or dared to even think a chair was for sitting if anyone older was in the room. Not today, no siree! Don’t even get me started on restaurant behaviour.

I think a contributing factor to the chubby thing is they are allowed to sit in front of their computer all the time and play on Facebook where they were allowed to lie because they aren’t 13 yet. Which leads me to this - why are you teaching your child to be dishonest? Giving them a good life lesson aren’t you? 

Chubby and lazy seem to go hand in hand I guess. Many children I know are not even required to clean their own room let alone any other chores. They are given what they want without any understanding of earning something. Gee, wonder how that will play out in the workplace.

Did I mention allowing your little girls to wear hooker clothes? I have seen more 12 and 13 year old breasts in public than I really care to. AND I have seen these same girls in Victoria’s Secret with their boyfriends. WTF!!!!! I don't want your 13 year old son peaking at me through the curtain crack, thank you very much.

Having said all that there are some good parents out there raising their children - the way I was raised. My business partners kids are polite, they are fit, they drink milk with their meals, they are in Sunday School every week, they are taught about giving instead of receiving, they have chores and I just bet they would know to put their hand over their heart when the Star Spangled Banner is played. Good job Andrea and Steve!

Go ahead and hype your kids up on soft drinks and junk food, teach them to lie, cheat and steal, drug them for one of their alphabet soup diagnosis, buy them hooker clothes so they feel "sexy" at 10 and see how all that works out for you when you get older and maybe need those same kids making decisions for you and your life. Good luck with that!

My rant is over and I will be back to posting about sex, drugs and rock & roll soon.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Virginity Restored

I just saw a news article about a popular surgical procedure to restore a woman’s virginity, physically. According to the article it is becoming popular for aged 50ish women.


I have had some surgery in my life but restoring my physical virginity is not something I would consider. My pain tolerance level is pretty high but I do believe the recovery from that type of surgery would be quite painful and at the very least, extremely uncomfortable for a long while.


Why would I even want to do that? It would have to be for a man’s pleasure only because I remember losing my virginity and it was a bit painful - if my memory serves me correctly. So, pain from surgery, pain from “losing” your virginity a second time….no thank you.

Sex should be pleasurable for both parties and I would like to think I have learned a few things over the years about giving and certainly know I have learned a few things about receiving.

So this is notice to any future partners of mine. You will not be getting a virgin!

Ladies, would you have this invasive procedure done? Men, do you care? Let me know.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Be Brave!


I posted this picture on Facebook this week and truly believed in what it said.

Today I had an opportunity to share a small piece of my life story with a young woman. It is interesting how the conversation came about and I believe with all my heart that it is always, always divine intervention.

Sometimes it takes a lot of bravery to tell your story. You fight back tears but you know in the core of your being you need to be strong and tell it anyway. Sometimes, the tears need to be shared also.  I have been blessed to be presented with more opportunities than I can recall to share my experiences and learn later how much it has helped someone. I have been able to tell one or two of my life stories in front of large crowds of people and allowing so many people to see your emotion is not always the easiest thing but I am always amazed at who my words touched. I don’t take credit for that because the words that seem to have the most impact are the ones I never intended to say. They weren’t in my notes, they are what I call “Heart Words”.

Today’s conversation was also a healing process for me. Because of sharing with someone of my trials, I was able to relive those just a bit and address some of my feelings by sharing.

By sharing your experience you also meet some of the most incredible people and you get to know them on a level that most superficial relationships never attain. When you see those people the next time, you look at each other, really look at each other, and that look is with knowing eyes and hearts.

So…..Be Brave! Share those thoughts and feelings. Listen to your inner voices that tell you it is okay and this is what you need to be doing. You will have an opportunity to help someone if you just pay attention. Guess what? It probably helps you more than them.

Friday, June 15, 2012

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Betty White

Betty White has become my hero. Well, hero in the sense I want to be like her when I grow up……you know, about 80 years old or so.

She just celebrated her 90th birthday and has not slowed down based on what I have been reading and seeing on TV.

My belief is if you decide at 40, 50, 60 or any age for that matter that you are old, then you are. You may as well be dead now because you are committing suicide on the installment plan. Take a look at Betty White and what she is doing at the young age of 90.  New TV shows (yes plural), talk show interviews, appearances, etc. She is not sitting on her butt being old. In one interview she talked about living in a 2-story house and making several trips up and down the stairs to stay in shape.

She is a comedic actress and that humor comes through constantly. Here are some of my favorite quotes of hers:

"I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves. I don't care whether it's ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, or whose ox is being gored. “

"I think older women still have a full life. Maybe the [movie and TV] writers don’t address it these days, but it doesn’t change the fact."

"If one gets lucky I bet they do."-
 In response to Barbara Walters asking her if
88-year-olds still have sex.

"You gotta use everything you possibly can!"-
On the slit in her dress when accepting the
SAG's Lifetime Achievement Award.

 I want to be 90 years young and fully living my life. I will be having great parties with young men, you know about 70, flirting with them, dancing, drinking and carrying on in inappropriate ways. You can get away with a whole lot at 90 that you couldn’t previously in your life so I am looking forward to it.

I hope you continue going along on this journey with me and I will invite you to all the cool parties I am going to have when I get a bit younger. Thanks Betty for being such an inspiration!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day

I grew up in a small town on the Mississippi River in the Midwest. That helped create a real God and Country attitude and belief for me. I used to joke with a friend of mine that my upbringing in that location made me a real American. 

Memorial Day for me, growing up, was important because I was taught the meaning of it by my parents and my community. We did all the cooking out with extended family and friends, played games outside, made homemade ice cream and we took time out of the day to go to the cemetery to pay our respects to all those who had passed and in particular the veterans. Wreaths were taken for every family members grave and additionally, flags for the veterans in our family.

I am very thankful I was taught those important things about God and Country. I live too far away now to visit the cemetery but my way of paying respect is to send my monetary donation to that little cemetery on the hill overlooking the Mississippi River and the tiny town I grew up in. It is maintained by donations and towns people who care. Some of those same people who helped instill in me the respect and honor I feel today for our veterans.  Thank you to those people in my little home town who helped instill in me the respect I have for our great country and those who fought for my freedom and gave the ultimate - their tomorrow for my today.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012



I was in the middle of a phone conversation with a good friend this week and because we are good friends I continued to eat my morning cereal. I did apologize and say I needed to continue eating because I was starving and sorry for the chewing sound.
He said:

“you don’t want to let your Cheerios get soggy”

I began thinking about that and how my Cheerios were really a metaphor for so many things, especially life.

Every one of those little round things can be compared to moments in your life. There they are floating in a bowl of milk and stand the chance of becoming soggy and eventually disintegrating if you don’t eat them right away. Just like life, you have to take advantage of the moment and enjoy it before it becomes soggy and eventually turn to mush.

It is easy to get distracted by all sorts of things and our cereal (life moments) gets soggy and is no longer enjoyable.

Learn to enjoy the moments in your life and don’t be left with a bowl of soggy Cheerios and regrets for not eating it while it is crunchy and good.

Sunday, May 13, 2012


My mom was a rabid St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan. You can’t grow up in the St. Louis area without being that way. I grew up there but later became an Atlanta Braves fan. The Cards were always my childhood favorite though. When the Cards and Braves played each other it was always a win for me.

Before I moved mom to NC with me it was not unusual for us to call each other during televised games just to say “did you see that?” especially during the Mark McGuire/Sammy Sosa home run contest.

Mom was a patient at the Lower Cape Fear Hospice and Life Care Center the last month of her life. They taught me all the physical aspects of the dying progress. One of those is hearing becomes acute and you should talk with them just as if they were awake and hearing you. The night before mom died a Braves/Cards game was televised so I “watched” it with her and talked to her about the game as if she was seeing and hearing it with me.

It is fitting today the Braves and Cardinals are televised so I think I will just sit down and watch this ballgame and honor my mom. Happy Mother’s Day Mom….. Play Ball!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Brothers and Sisters Day

I just saw something that said this coming Wednesday was Brothers and Sisters Day. Interesting that came up because I have been thinking a lot lately, actually the past year, about my little brother. We were 6 days shy of 2 years apart in age but really were like twins. We grew up in a very small town so we were playmates and best friends. He was tragically killed in an unintended firearm discharge. (A friend recently explained the difference in that and the word accident so I am choosing that for now)
My world changed the day that happened. I recently read an article about grief and it said that we need to celebrate all the time we had with someone instead of concentrating on the day they died because that was only one day in their life. I choose to do that. So this is about Charles Spencer Grover and his life, not the day he died.
I started this blog to put into words my journey into a new life after my husbands death and to share those experiences with you but I believe it is time to pay honor to my baby brother, Chuck, or as I called him, Chuckie. Thinking of him is a big part of my journey. 
If he were a child today he would be diagnosed with ADD or some other alphabet soup something or other. We could not have been any different in looks or temperament. He was blond, piercing blue eyed with a light complexion just like our dad. I was darker skinned, brown eyed and dark hair like mom. He was always, always, always in trouble for something and I was the good kid who never got in trouble. Maybe I played the game better at not getting caught. Who knows now.  It would be nice to share some of those memories and hear what his take was on all of it. I am sure he would be picking on me in some manner and maybe even remembering events differently. The good side of that is there is no one to dispute my side of the story. My memory is pure fact!

He was insanely musically talented even at a young age (I could only turn the radio on). He constantly found injured, wild animals and brought them home to nurse back to health. I like to think he would have been a veterinarian  or a very popular musician. No matter what he would have done with his life he would have been my brother and best friend to this day had he lived. We had another brother who was 7 years older than me and we were never close. He ended his life when he overdosed on cocaine many years later. His alcoholism and drug addiction prevented us from ever being close so my memories always go to Chuckie when I think of a brother.

A few years back a client of mine was sitting across from me and looked peculiar suddenly. I thought perhaps it was just the personal questions I was having to ask as a mortgage banker. She told me she had a gift and I could choose not to believe her if I wanted but she needed to tell me there was a young spirit with me and it was the purest soul she had ever encountered. She asked me if “Chuckie” meant anything to me. Whoa! She went on to tell me he was always with me. Still not certain what I think about all that but for her to know the name “Chuckie” and then to tell me he was always with me was startling to say the least. I don’t know a lot about guardian angels but I like to think he is mine.

I keep a picture of the two of us on my bedside table and frequently look at it and smile. Is he really by my side always? I don’t know but I do know he is in my heart always and no matter how many years have passed he will always be my little brother and I will always have the good memories. This is my homage to Brothers and Sisters Day on Wednesday and to my brother, Chuckie.
Do you have a special brother or sister you want to tell me about?

Monday, April 16, 2012


I have lived alone 3 times in my life. Just after college, after divorce and now widowed. I don’t like the reason I am living single but I can say that time has adjusted my brain and I now remember how much I like it.

I saw some information today that said 50% of US residents are single. That doesn’t mean they aren’t living with someone but the telling number was that 1/3 of US households had only one resident.

Why are more people choosing to live alone? It is just easier in many ways. I can’t fathom the idea of living with someone else at this point in my life. I am liking the independence far too much.

I can sleep in the middle of the bed.
I can eat when I want and what I want.
I can watch what I want on TV without having to go to another room.
I don’t close bathroom doors.
The only mess in the house is mine.

There are other advantages but if you are living single you know them already.
I have a female friend who has been in a "relationship" for 8 years. He shows up once a week and it is pretty much for dinner and sex. They will do social engagements with each other if needed but other than that they live seperate lives. She wants it that way because of liking living alone.

Does living single mean aloneness? No is the answer in my case. I am blessed with a network of friends who I stay in pretty close contact with and have a pretty busy social life. Then there is Facebook.....
Who can feel alone with Facebook in our lives?
You can connect and communicate with so many people on very different levels. You can see how pathetic some of your friends lives are (you know those whoa is me people) and really feel better about yours while you are sitting in your pj’s, hair in a ponytail (or in a male friends case with his headband on to keep his hair back but don’t tell him you know), no makeup, etc. You can look at other friends whose posts would make you think they have an ideal and exciting life when you know it isn’t so. With communication technology there is no reason to feel alone or lonely. Well, I guess if you are just a real loser and don’t even have Facebook “friends” then you are destined to be lonely and alone, really alone.

A big downside is groceries. Too many jars and bottles in my refrigerator get thrown out because they are beyond their expiration date. Food packages should be made smaller to fill the need of those 1/3 of US households that are just one resident. Ever thought about offering a half loaf of bread?

My periods of time living alone are adding up and maybe the longer this one goes the more I am going to like it and will probably always do so. Except when I am really old and my dearest friend and I are going to move in together and have wild, crazy parties with young men.
What do you think about living alone? Advantages? Couldn't do it?

Monday, April 2, 2012

Clearing Brush And Mending Fences

Really random thoughts…..

I disconnected Sunday to do some much needed yard chores and things on my honey do list was cleaning up the property line area between me and my neighbors and mending a lattice fence that needed repair.
The young people who have bought into my neighborhood are apparently pretty lazy. They have the worst looking yards of all. My 90+ year old neighbors take better care of their yards than the young people. The ones who bought behind me cut down the majestic 50+ year old camelias, are letting the shrubs grow willy nilly and letting cherry laurels take over. Cherry laurels are the kudzu of trees for those not in the south. They have also let vines grow into the beautiful dogwoods on our property line and it is killing the trees. I did my best to reach as far as I could over the fence to cut out some of the vines and the cherry laurels. All the while I was thinking I wanted to go into their house and yank their lazy asses out into their yard to do some work. They barely even cut their grass.

While clearing their brush and mending my fences I was doing a lot of thinking during what really was a peaceful and beautiful day. My thoughts about what I was doing made me think of the 10 Commandments. I wonder how many children even learn the 10 Commandments or are taught by their parents a version of them. I really felt like murdering my neighbors (6th Commandment) for their laziness and the work I was having to do because of that. I didn’t/wouldn’t because I know it is wrong. I probably have broken many of the commandments at some time in my life but I have not resorted to murdering anyone. Not that one is worse than the other I guess. God didn’t give them degrees of importance. Those commandments were instilled in me from birth I think and I really do try to live by them.

My other random thoughts while working was about clearing the brush from our minds and hearts. When you clear brush it allows the sun to shine through and new growth happens. If you allow the brush to hide everything you never know what is under there and new growth of the good stuff is hampered. Face your feelings and deal with them, clear away the brush. Snakes usually hide in overgrown areas. That is probably why so many people have snakes in their heads. Just a thought.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Sometimes I don't want to be the girl......

Suddenly it seems many things need to be done around my house and I don’t want to do them. Some of that is because I need to be a little bit stronger or taller to accomplish the tasks. For 20 years I had my late husband who was tall and very strong to loosen the bolt or “man handle” the task into submission. Now I am on my own.

Today’s example was changing the battery in my lawn mower. I have procrastinated for over a week (maybe a month) and finally decided to do it today. Today was the day because for the past few days I could hear my late mother in my head fussing at me. She would have said “Sissy, you are perfectly able and strong enough to do this, get on with it”. So I took a break from work and went to the garage to do what my mom said. Well, the nut on the terminals were put on so tight and the space so small it made my potty mouth go full force (for those who know me well know that doesn’t take much). I am pretty strong but those things were tight I tell you. After much swearing and hit knuckles in the small space …. old battery out and new battery in. It is on the charger as I type this and mower will surely start tomorrow. TaDa! I could almost hear mom's approval. 

My next task is needing tall and strong.  Chose to buy patio umbrellas without the hand crank because they didn’t have the color I wanted with the crank. That means it is manual and I guess the fabric has shrunk because the damn thing needs more strength and height than I have. I think I will stop the next person going down my street who looks taller and stronger than me and ask for help on that one. Even mom in my head can’t make it work. Although as I have typed this, looking at that one umbrella I can’t get up, I may have thought of a solution. I will just drill a hole lower than the one in it and only short people can get under the umbrella. Being too short was part of the problem so I would be able to get under it and taller people may just have to duck.

I have a couple of girlfriends who tell me constantly to quit trying to do everything myself and to play the role of the helpless female and ask one of the men in my life to do things for me - even if I can do it myself. They tell me it is good for the male ego, ha! My mom would really be pissed at me for doing that. She raised me to be very independent. The other consideration is not wanting to pretend to be something I am not. Helpless female has never, ever been any part of me.

My “honey do” list has become quite long. By not giving in to “not wanting to be the girl” it will allow me to perhaps knock one thing a day out and make good progress on that list.

This honey has things to do ……

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


One of the things I did this weekend was help a special 95 year old celebrate his birthday.  Some heart attacks, a stroke, bypass surgeries and many stints have not slowed him down much. Even though he is 95 he wanted to be outside with us young folks while we were playing corn hole. He really wanted to play but didn’t think he could see well enough to be any good. You see, his attitude is that if he is going to do it, he damn sure is going to win.  
Not certain what his secret to longevity is but he told me last year he was looking forward to his 100th birthday.    
Optimism? Certainly that must make a big difference.

I do know he stays active physically and mentally. Yes, he has slowed down some but he still works the crossword puzzle every day and he was telling me about his Senior Olympics preparations for this year. He still bowls on at least one league. He will also beat your butt in card games because he still counts cards and knows what has been played. He is slower and we almost take a nap when it is his turn but he still manages to win a lot.

The lesson I guess is:

ü  Go ahead and begin planning your 100th birthday party no matter how old you are today

ü  Do something every day to keep your mind sharp

ü  Get up off your lazy ass and be active

Sounds pretty simple and seems to have worked for him.
Want to come to my 100th birthday party?

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Girls have a thing about their hair, at least most do (and Steven Tyler maybe). Our hair dictates what kind of day we are going to have many times. You shower, do makeup, pick out clothes, jewelry and shoes and then the hair doesn’t cooperative and bam!....confidence gets tweaked because of it. 
(I still drool like this somtimes,too)

I have had wild, curly hair all my life but recently got it professionally straightened.

What a difference the change made in me. It may have been coincidental to other things going on in my life but I think the hair played a part. I even posted pictures on Facebook showing off my new straight locks.

Where do we get the psychology of hair being so important? Our mothers putting bows and ribbons in it when we are tiny? Pressure from advertising/media? Does it go further back than that, Cleopatra maybe? This site tells the story about hair through the ages and perhaps explains somewhat.

A friend of mine recently changed her hair from her normal blonde to dark brown. I think it made a difference in her thinking. How does this happen?

And what about men and the long hair thing? Is that ancient thinking with visions of dragging the woman around by her hair ala cave man?

I change my hair frequently depending on where I am in my life. It may be long and straight today but who knows in 3 months what I may look like.  Short and blonde maybe? Probably not but you just never know.

Chime in and let me know.  Girls, does your hair affect your thinking/confidence? Guys, does your hair impact you the same way (at least you have the option of growing a beard, mustache or goatee  to change your appearance)?

Since I no longer have the wild and crazy curls I guess I will have to move the wild and crazy to my new attitude.