Sunday, December 30, 2012

Maybe It Is None Of Your Business Mark

You may know I do social media marketing for a living. That means I have Facebook open on my computer constantly.  It is really beginning to creep me out a bit though.

Every time I go back to Facebook to either look at my personal page or to use it to go to one of my clients pages, the box you put your status update in is asking me questions.

How are you feeling, Brenda?

How are you doing, Brenda?

What is happening, Brenda?

What is going on, Brenda?

What is on your mind, Brenda?

The first couple times I saw these questions I looked over my shoulder to see who was there. I didn’t hear voices asking the question but still looked over my shoulder.

I am a pretty straight up person and will answer most questions honestly unless it just isn’t any of your business. If that is the case, because of my honesty, I will probably just tell you it isn’t any of your business or smile and let you try to assume you know the answer.

Here are your answers though, Mr. Zuckerberg:

I am feeling a bit lazy this morning and don’t want to do my household chores.

I am doing just fine, thanks for asking.

Not much happening but that is intentional today.

There is a lot going on but won't talk about it here.

What is really on my mind this morning is wishing there had not been a miscommunication about whether I was out of the country or not this weekend. I wouldn’t be writing this blog if that had not happened. Oh, and for the record, hardly anyone asks what is on my mind because I have probably already expressed it.
Does that pretty much answer the questions sufficiently so you will quit asking me Mark and Facebook? If Twitter starts doing the same I am going to just make up random shit and see what happens.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Reflections and Tears

I tend to get a bit reflective at the end of the year and apparently so do some of my friends, both real friends and even some Facebook friends.

I try to tell people how much they mean to me on a regular basis, because unfortunately, I have had too much experience with people I loved being here one day and not the next. You don’t always get that second chance to say I love you or you made a difference in my life.

The last few days I have been the recipient of those sentiments and let me tell you, each time it has made me cry, okay, maybe just tears in my eyes. I am not a cryer normally but when the tears appear because your heart is full, those are the best.

Take the time before this year ends to tell them they made a difference in your life, they inspired you or that you just simply love them. Hell, do it before this day ends.
Now that I have asked you to get all serious and reflective I will tell you I fully intend to spice up my life a bit real soon so I will be back to my old shenanigans and tell you about it here.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I Survived

So the world is supposed to be ending today huh? That's bad.

I never have found out who let the dogs out, the way to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn't just use Google maps, why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery", why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed, why "abbreviated" is such a long word, why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish washing liquid is made with real lemons, why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Why did Joanie love Chachi? If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria's secret?

You see, the world just has to keep going. I have too many questions......and do you really think I am this witty ????, because I actually stole this from a friend, who stole from a friend , who stole from a friend , who stole from for a friend , who stole from a friend ....

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dear Santa

I haven’t run into Santa so I could sit on his lap and give him my Christmas list. If you see him will you relay this information please?

I have watched The Voice on TV this year and developed a huge crush on Adam and Blake.  If they could be under my tree this year that would be great.

Det. Stabler on Law and Order SVU has a pretty sexy mouth but if he isn’t available to be under my tree someone with a mouth like his could be substituted, someone like Chris O’Donnell maybe.

My biggest male crush is Timothy Olyphant’s character Raylan Givens on Justified and if he was under my imaginary tree Christmas morning I would never get another Christmas present because I would be a very naughty girl - but I am willing to give up all future presents for that.

I know my list is getting to you at the last minute and if you can’t bring me exactly what I want, I understand, Santa.  Maybe you could come up with a composite gift. Here is my suggestion:

Someone with a sexy mouth, drinks brown liquor, likes to have fun, fit body, has a gun(s), has cowboy boots, mischievous, sing and/or play guitar, straight talker, no bullshit, no drama – is that all of the common theme’s with the guys above?

I promise I will be a very good girl!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Swinging From The Chandelier

This should be a story posted in Weird News or something like that but no, it was originally reported by the AP.

So this woman gets a workers’ comp claim approved because of having sex while on a business trip. They must have been swinging from the chandelier because the article even says they pulled the light fixture from the ceiling.

I always had a rule for myself to not mix personal and business relationships and now I am rethinking that choice. Maybe if I had taken men to my hotel room while traveling on business I could have had a nice little vacation for my efforts via workers’ comp.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Cleansing and Purging

I have been in a cleansing/purging mood lately. No, I am not doing a cleansing diet for my body nor am I developing an eating disorder. I suppose I am preparing for the new year with a cleaner slate in my life to begin it with.
(Google goofed when I was looking for the pic for this post. My search for trash turned up many, many pics of full on frontal nude men. Guess Google thought I needed to see nekkid men this morning)

I began this purge by unsubscribing to many, many email subscriptions I had. I would just hit delete on about 99% of the ones I unsubscribed to without even opening so why have them cluttering up my inbox. Time saved!

I cleaned my attic and ridded myself of a trash cart full of tacky, useless Christmas decorations. There is still about 10 pieces of various sized luggage up there but I am holding on to that in case I want to go on a grand adventure and would need just the right size to fit that need.

My clothes closet, or one of them at least, is my largest spare bedroom I turned into a closet. 2 SUV loads of clothes, shoes and bags got taken to consignment shops or donated to the store that benefits domestic violence victims. Now I am wondering how all that fit in my closet because it still seems full. Fewer decisions to make when I am getting dressed now.

Drawers, other closets and garage have met the same purging. It is a work in progress so there is much more to sell, trash or give away.

I am a neat person by nature, even the closets, drawers, etc. were neat but I don’t need that crap so out it goes.

I even purged my social media friends and followers to a degree. If I didn’t delete them I at least hid their daily negative bullshit from my feeds.

I plan to start 2013 with a cleaner and less cluttered life. These aren’t new year resolutions, it is just saying goodbye to this year and, by the looks and weight of the trash cart each week, goodbye to many years passed also.

Do you do anything like this at the end of the year?