Sunday, July 27, 2014

Ruts In The Road

Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like you were in a rut of some sort and just needed to blow the sides off that rut by skidding sideways through it to open it up wider?

I have been in a small rut for a few months and finally recognized it the last couple weeks. It is easy for me to get caught up in helping my friends and that is what has created this rut for me. I created the rut by moving backward and forwards in the same track, over and over. The three friends in particular have all moved beyond what I was caught up in with them. All three almost simultaneously. I was so invested in them and gave them so much of my energy, that combined weight made for a good sized rut.

Normal reaction would be to do something temporarily to give me a spurt of excitement like a vacation or a crazy weekend, but that isn't going to work this time. That would be like your car being stuck in a rut and rocking it back and forth hoping to break out of it. Doesn't work very well. You usually end up in the same spot with some momentary excitement thinking you are breaking free. If you are not careful, sometimes you may even dig a hole inside that rut.

If your life is looked at as a book, the pages have to progress the story to new chapters before the end of the book. Those pages should be interesting and compel you to keep reading (living). My pages were becoming the same words over and over with no progression. No new chapters. That is what a rut does.

I wasn't sure how I needed to break the sides of that rut down or to get to the next chapter this time. What I have decided to do is to open myself up more to new experiences, things I have not previously considered, or just didn't take the time, to see what works to keep my story interesting. That is the only plan. Maybe some of it will just be momentary bits of excitement but hopefully woven together those bits will make a good story. Not just A story but MY story and my story will not be plugging along in a rut.

The journey continues.

Have you ever found yourself in one of these ruts and be willing to share what broke you free from it?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Bob Out

I follow a local business on Facebook because of the incredibly beautiful pictures and video's they post of the beach, early, every single morning with the current weather conditions. I have shared some of those on my own page because they are breathtaking even though they are done with a cell phone. Just hearing the surf and seeing that sunrise starts my day off positively. One of the people who worked there was typically the one who posted them and he would always follow his comments with "Bob Out".

I learned from their Facebook page Monday morning that "Bob Out" had died and from their post surmised he had taken his own life. When I looked at his personal page I was brought to tears.

These were his posts leading up taking his life.

He then posted this picture of his uniform on July 3.

Later that night he posted a selfie in the bathroom mirror of him in his dress blues with the comment; "Semper Fi".

Then the obvious.

He took his own life.

His obituary showed the family wanted memorial donations to go to Iraq & Afghanistan Veterans of America.  I am making some assumptions by that.

His Facebook posts were about a wedding he just attended of a friend, pictures of his dog, pictures of a pear tree with lots of fruit he planted in his yard, pictures and comments about a rabbit who ate grass in his back yard, fishing....normal everyday stuff, mostly all positive.

This part is not political so don't take it that way, his only negative posts were about his health care and pain management.

He gave 14 years to this country as a US Marine until he was medically discharged.

I didn't know this young man, only from his Facebook posts on a business page where he identified himself as Bob Out. I have been very sad since I read about this Monday morning that Bob still had so much internal pain he felt it necessary to end his life. I am sad his pain could not be managed.

Bob Out