Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Stud or Whore?

So Hugh Hefner has disclosed in this article he has had sex with over 1,000 women. Of course the man is 86 years old and has had a few years to accomplish that.  Do the math.....first sex at 14? Married for 19 of those years and he says he was faithful to those wives. So when you calculate it out, that is almost 20 different women per year for the remaining years.

Guys are probably envious of Hef and would call him a real stud.

My question is if I admitted to the same fete of averaging sex with 20 different men per year would I be considered a whore? Would other women celebrate my prowess like men do Hef?

I have some female friends who freely share stories of their sexual conquests with me. There was even one a few years ago who set out that day to have sex with 4 different men in one day. She reported the next day success in her endeavor. I suspect she may give ol Hef a run for his money with the 1,000 by the time she reaches his age. This is not some bar skank, porn star, hooker or anything else like that. She is a professional business woman. So, answering my own question of whore or not....I can't answer that. I suppose if you just say "oh gawd" enough you don't even have to be concerned about remembering their names.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Before I die I want to......

The month of March is one of anniversaries for me. It is also the beginning of Spring and new life. My anniversaries are of marking time since death, or new life, according to my faith.

It is the anniversary of my late husbands lung transplant that would have given him a few more years of being on this earth with me. It is also the anniversary of his death 3 weeks after the transplant. He taught me and anyone who knew him to live life to the fullest every single moment. He did that until his last breath with the way he lived his life and by celebrating the most ordinary things as something special. 

During the process at Duke of getting a lung transplant you go through an evaluation process for one week to see if you qualify for their program. That process includes the caregiver so I was a part of it. The first day of that process I met a man from Minnesota who had been turned down for a transplant by 3 other hospitals in the country. He had the most beautiful smile in spite of being on copious amounts of oxygen, still struggling to breathe and running out of time. Each day of those couple months of pre-transplant rehab I would say hello to Ray and he would respond that he was doing great, flash that big smile, and continue that he was “just skipping merrily through life”.  Ray died this week 3 years post transplant and I am certain he was still smiling and skipping.

March also marks the anniversary of my sweet mom beginning hospice care until her death in April. That was truly life changing for me and taught me much about living. She was another person who kept a smile on her face until the very end and chose to be present in life until her last breath.

Not one of the 3 people I have acknowledged whined or complained even during some extremely difficult days. They were present in their moments and certainly present in mine. They impacted my thinking and life forever.

A couple weeks ago something showed up on my annual mammogram and I needed a biopsy done. During the waiting for the results of the second mammogram, the ultrasound and then the biopsy, a good friend asked how I could be so calm about it. My response was because of my faith, best case is I die. Second best case is I don’t die and get new perky boobs out of the deal.  Had the results been different and it was cancer, I would remember to live in the moment and not stress about the next.

My husband, my mom and my friend showed me how to die with grace but more importantly they showed me how to live. I was fortunate to be able to share those experiences this week with a large group of people when speaking at a conference.  These 3 peoples lives are still touching others because of the way they chose to live. My parting comment to the audience was to not wait for a diagnosis of impending death to think about living their life.
Choose your life and be present in every single moment of it.
Celebrate the ordinary things as something special!



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Still A 12 Year Old?

For the past week or so I have been messaging a girl friend about men, dating, sex, etc. I would love to just copy and paste the messages here to tell the story but won’t to protect my friend. It probably would be very amusing if I did.

One of the conclusions we came to is that no matter our age or maturity, when it comes to ‘boys’ we are still like 12 year old girls passing notes in school to someone we have a crush on. Nothing has changed!  Instead of passing a note in class or the hall we now text.  

It is fun to have a crush on someone at this stage in life but when that happens the 12 year old’s insecurities tend to creep into the thinking. You kind of want to send a note (text) saying “I like you, do you like me?” I suppose that shows my age a bit because now 9 year olds are having more sex than I am and there was the pre-school in California that was shut down because of blow jobs by the students a couple months ago. Probably a 12 year old wouldn’t be sending such an innocent note now. They would be sending a text saying “want to hook up in the closet between classes”.

We all try to be cool and pretend we don’t care but when you have a crush on someone that cool shit goes out the window, at least privately. Then sometimes it isn't really a crush......

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Words/Phrases I Want Banned

We all probably have words or phrases that are irritating as hell to us when we hear them.

"You go girl" is one of those phrases for me. I want to ask; "go where?".  Just where would you like for me to go? It is usually in response to something positive so why not just say good job or something like that.

Baby Momma/Baby Daddy - these should be banned from all vocabularies and arrests made if used. Momma and Daddy (Diddy if you are a southern redneck girl) should be terms of endearment and not a biological term. I do not recall those words being in my biology book so stop using them to describe a sperm or egg donor.

Literally is the next word that should be banned from use for anyone who has not looked up the definition in the old Websters. "I literally died when I saw him". My response: "damn, didn't see your obituary in the paper and you look right good for a dead person".

Really is a word I have to confess to using some to end a sentence but I have heard it taken to the extreme. Your friend makes a statement and ends it with "really.....really.....really" with more emphasis on each really. We can agree to use this one and I don't really, really, really want it banned but please stop at the first really.

Do you have any words or phrases that literally irritate the crap out of you, your baby momma, and your baby daddy?