Recently one of my favorite local bloggers, who is typically very funny, did a serious post about addiction and it’s impact on her family. She was meeting this head on with the family member and no longer being a victim of their addiction herself. Hat is off to her.
That convoluted start brings me to the people I know who are addicted to the past. Sadly, I know too many people who hold on to negative things from their life as if it is their next line of coke or the next needle in their vein. Why? Because they thrive on it. They have chosen to be the victim of their life circumstances instead of dealing with the issue and moving on. The issue can be anything from a perceived slight in childhood, a truly bad childhood, a bad marriage or even the death of a loved one. It is too easy and comfortable to wallow in self pity of the past than risk anything in the future. Perhaps dealing with the issue initially will be painful, so what. It can’t be more painful than living an unfulfilled life because of the insane hold you have on it - just like a drug addict.
From my personal experience, unresolved grief can be one of the most debilitating things to hang on to. Anger may be a close second. I learned to address it in a healthy manner and not let it rule me. I have people in my life who hang onto the sadness of the loss of a loved one so tightly, the beauty of the good memories fades. The beauty that could be their own life is over shadowed. It is only an overwhelming negative to them. But just like a drug addict, I can’t help them. They have to help themselves. Many won't and that is their choice. That saddens me - for them.
We have a new year coming up soon so even if you have never done the resolution thing maybe this is the year you should. Be resolute in identifying and addressing your feelings and begin living your life again. Be most honest with yourself.
Quit hiding from you.
Or another way to put it - put your big girl (or boy) panties on and get over it.