Monday, April 30, 2012

Brothers and Sisters Day

I just saw something that said this coming Wednesday was Brothers and Sisters Day. Interesting that came up because I have been thinking a lot lately, actually the past year, about my little brother. We were 6 days shy of 2 years apart in age but really were like twins. We grew up in a very small town so we were playmates and best friends. He was tragically killed in an unintended firearm discharge. (A friend recently explained the difference in that and the word accident so I am choosing that for now)
My world changed the day that happened. I recently read an article about grief and it said that we need to celebrate all the time we had with someone instead of concentrating on the day they died because that was only one day in their life. I choose to do that. So this is about Charles Spencer Grover and his life, not the day he died.
I started this blog to put into words my journey into a new life after my husbands death and to share those experiences with you but I believe it is time to pay honor to my baby brother, Chuck, or as I called him, Chuckie. Thinking of him is a big part of my journey. 
If he were a child today he would be diagnosed with ADD or some other alphabet soup something or other. We could not have been any different in looks or temperament. He was blond, piercing blue eyed with a light complexion just like our dad. I was darker skinned, brown eyed and dark hair like mom. He was always, always, always in trouble for something and I was the good kid who never got in trouble. Maybe I played the game better at not getting caught. Who knows now.  It would be nice to share some of those memories and hear what his take was on all of it. I am sure he would be picking on me in some manner and maybe even remembering events differently. The good side of that is there is no one to dispute my side of the story. My memory is pure fact!

He was insanely musically talented even at a young age (I could only turn the radio on). He constantly found injured, wild animals and brought them home to nurse back to health. I like to think he would have been a veterinarian  or a very popular musician. No matter what he would have done with his life he would have been my brother and best friend to this day had he lived. We had another brother who was 7 years older than me and we were never close. He ended his life when he overdosed on cocaine many years later. His alcoholism and drug addiction prevented us from ever being close so my memories always go to Chuckie when I think of a brother.

A few years back a client of mine was sitting across from me and looked peculiar suddenly. I thought perhaps it was just the personal questions I was having to ask as a mortgage banker. She told me she had a gift and I could choose not to believe her if I wanted but she needed to tell me there was a young spirit with me and it was the purest soul she had ever encountered. She asked me if “Chuckie” meant anything to me. Whoa! She went on to tell me he was always with me. Still not certain what I think about all that but for her to know the name “Chuckie” and then to tell me he was always with me was startling to say the least. I don’t know a lot about guardian angels but I like to think he is mine.

I keep a picture of the two of us on my bedside table and frequently look at it and smile. Is he really by my side always? I don’t know but I do know he is in my heart always and no matter how many years have passed he will always be my little brother and I will always have the good memories. This is my homage to Brothers and Sisters Day on Wednesday and to my brother, Chuckie.
Do you have a special brother or sister you want to tell me about?

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