SOCIAL MEDIA (FACEBOOK) AND DATING

First dates with someone you don’t really know can be a bit awkward at the beginning because you are getting to know each other, blah, blah, blah.

Unless you have your privacy setting so no one but friends can see things about you, with Facebook you skip straight to 3^rd date, okay maybe 2^nd date.

You get to peek (stalk)  into the other person’s life and learn so much.

Many things you would not learn until you had several conversations.  You go straight to what do they drink, maybe what they eat, where have they been on vacation, how many children they have, where they work, are they a whiner…..

I have several friends who do the online dating thing. Online dating profiles are probably a lot of bullshit written to impress the person reading it. Wouldn’t you do that? Only the best pictures are posted to view. Facebook is different!  Unless you know Facebook and how to restrict things, your friends may have posted pictures of you that you would rather a potential date not see.

So what does all that information in advance change about the dating process. Of course, it could eliminate the first date completely because of the information posted. But let’s say you saw their information on Facebook and decided it would be worth a drink, lunch or dinner. What then? Does it give you more to talk about? Does it eliminate the “rules” on what is acceptable for 1st dates or 2^nd dates?  After all, you skipped those awkward getting to know you moments because you already stalked each other on line.

Speaking of awkward…..you tell a little fib about why you can’t see them Thursday night and oops, someone posts a picture of you that clearly is not what you said you were going to be doing. Hmmm. Better tighten up those privacy settings on Facebook. 

Complications can abound with this such as if you quit seeing someone, do you unfriend them at that point?

I am making up my own dating rules as I go this time around but will someone enlighten me to the social media and dating rules if you know them?  Are there rules or can I make up my own for that also?

VALENTINE’S DAY ADVICE FOR MEN

For men only.....

I figure it is not too early to talk about this since Valentine’s Day is in just about 3 weeks.  I never cared about Valentine’s Day because I don't like ad agency created holidays. I tend to resist that. 

This is my take on Valentine's Day.......

 

Pay attention guys, this is the good part

I began to care about Valentine’s Day later in my life because it was important to a man who showed me I was too special for such mundane things as flowers or candy or dinner or whatever else has become the norm.

Men, step outside of the consumerist created stuff and do something special this year. Take the time to think about something very different that tells the person you are wanting to show your love for that she is different and deserves it. This can be something so simple and not cost much at all.

Leave work a bit early and post signs on your street with a heart and your initials inside so she sees them when she comes home. A few signs starting with her name and continuing with Will, You, Be, Mine or some other cutesy saying. Trust me she will giggle and love it. (Of course, you will have to go back and collect the signs so you aren’t littering or violating some city ordinance)

If it is a pretty day, make a picnic lunch with a special food for her, and go to a park for lunch.....even if it is heart shaped bologna sandwiches.

Get up in the middle of the night and put a note on the coffee pot, the mirror or whatever she will see first thing in the morning. If you can, go outside and put a note or card on or in her car.

I can go on and on with ideas but I hope you got the message from this so far.

When I went to an office every day I used to feel sorry for the women who got flowers delivered on Valentine's Day. I thought, you poor thing. I knew if I did get flowers it was going to be flower petals leading from the door to the bed, which was covered in petals. Beside the bed was wine.....you get the picture.

Don’t do what every other man in the country is going to be doing.
Are you that ordinary and unimaginative?
Step out of the norm and be a bit creative with the way you say Will You Be My Valentine, or I Love You  or whatever else you want to express. You have a couple weeks to ponder this and come up with something special. Trust me, it will be worth your while.

If you can’t think of something on your own leave a comment here and I will help you with ideas.    
Come back to this on 2/15 and leave me a comment letting me know how good it worked out for you!       

The Last Half Journey: New Year New Me

The Last Half Journey: New Year New Me: I don’t make resolutions but the beginning of each year is a time for me to make some changes. Usually I am content cleaning out closets, ca...

New Year New Me

I don’t make resolutions but the beginning of each year is a time for me to make some changes. Usually I am content cleaning out closets, cabinets, etc. I will do that this year as usual.

Woke up this morning and just thought to myself, this is my year and I claim it. There are Chinese horoscopes that have the year of the pig or the snake or the whatever animal.

2012 is the Year of Brenda!

My past 3 or 4 years have been most interesting and life changing in just about every major way you can think of in someone’s life. I have survived it and am a stronger person for it.

This is my rock and roll year so in honor of that I made a big change with my hair today. Something entirely different as a symbol for me of it being my year. Not my year as in selfish, my year as in being able to give every single day my very best and that “best” being better than it has been in a long time.

As the Patti LaBelle song says, “I got a new attitude”. That ‘tude is going to be fun and exciting.

Come along with me won’t you?

Resolutions?

Why do we wait for the beginning of a new year to make resolutions?

Why should we wait until 12/31 or 1/1 to make “resolutions” that we probably won’t keep anyway.

I choose to make a resolution each day when I get up.

The main resolution is to just be the best person I can to the people who are important to me that day. That person may be an old friend or someone I don’t even know yet. That isn't always easy and I do forget sometimes. I have a constant resolution to remain healthy which means weight in check , healthy eating and fitness which is a continuing battle. Broken down to a day at a time though it is more manageable.

I do believe however we should all have long term goals of some sort but those have to be adjusted on a daily basis depending on what our life is that day. Sometimes on an hourly basis or even a minute to minute basis.  I know all too well how those long term goals can be changed with the last beat of a heart or any other changes that take place in our day to day living.

It is much easier to keep a “resolution” for one day, just one day at a time, than for a year.

January 1 is just another tomorrow. A tomorrow that becomes today and another opportunity to set that resolution in action. One day at a time that becomes lifetime, no matter how short or long our life is.

Did you make new years resolutions? Do you have a secret to keeping them long term?